Boracay Fly Fish: to hold on or to let go

Fly fish or Flying Fish,  have you tried riding one? How did it feel?

I suck at watersports mainly because I have lived in the idea of water engulfing me to it’s deepest bowels and it terrifies me. To top it all, swimming is not part of my repertoire. When I took on the banana boat challenge in Cowry Island, it was a leap of faith – holding my precious life on the greatness of the good looking…well, life jacket! It was fun to be tossed around at the time. I was taught a good rule…“Do not hold on. You gotta let go.”

My Boracay Fly Fish Adventure

I told myself, “why would I miss this part of my first Boracay trip?   I was thoroughly encouraged to begin with by the fun-ny tales of the experienced.  So that afternoon we booked ourselves a Fly Fish session.

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Before the Fly Fish adventure
Shot: Miel on Diogey’s GoPro

The Fly Fish was docked in Station 1 in front of Astoria Boracay.  It was one freaking hot day. I felt Mr. Sun’s excitement throughout the entire stroll to where we were supposed to hop on the monster! Following the very quick registration and signing of a waiver (yes, there is a waiver you have to sign). Now it sounded like a dangerous venture! I was getting a bit hesitant, but what the heck!  It’s time to experience something new! It’s not like I’mma die young…or was I? (well I lived to tell the story…wahahaha)

The dues have been paid (P 500 per person) and waivers signed! It’s time to officially meet the monster of the sea and pet it (hoping that petting such monster would increase my chance of survival)! Anything that needs to stay dry and safe must go to the speedboat! So I momentarily bade goodbye to my shades, my ‘waterproof’ (or so Sony thought it was) phone and flip-flops! I felt so bare with just my shirt and board shorts on!

And the Hunger Games began!

So the Fly Fish looked a lot like banana boats in some sense. Only that fly fish is composed of three dwarfed banana boats fastened together by a sheet to bridge the gap to make it sort of fly like a kite! The thing was, we were a total of five (the monster can accommodate a total of six) which makes the monster a bit heavy (not to mention my solo weight alone) to literally lift itself up completely.

With the scorching heat of the sun, it was refreshing to feel the sea breeze as we were getting towed far from the shore. I was holding on to the inflated monster pretty firmly because it was rather comforting that way. As we gain speed and distance from the shore, the dilemma came rushing in…do I hold on or should I let go? Well, the decision had to be quick; the water started splashing on my face and the freakin’ monster’s attempting to lift off the water! I grabbed the handle tightly…as tight as I could because I so #$%&@# love my dear life (bubble thought of a non-swimmer)!

To hold on or Let go?

Remembering the only rule, the best rule I was taught: let go!…It’s gonna hurt more if you keep holding on! You have to trust yourself and your life vest!

I can clearly remember how it was to let go. It made the whole deal fun back in Cowry Island…“not here”“not now…” I told myself as I gripped tightly on the handle. I hugged the monster as it tried to silently throw me out on the water…to be left alone and wonder what I did wrong (duh?! of course they’re going to get back at me…)

One too many, some of us went completely overboard…I, on the other hand triumphantly endured all the beatings! I fell once, but only because I have spent too much energy holding on that when we came to a halt I felt drained so I slid off the side (I could hardly get back onboard).

Was it worth holding on? Does the banana boat rule apply to the mighty fly fish? I am not sure of anything. In the moment when I was being shaken off I felt it was prudent to hold on tight because falling off means uncertainty. Will someone catch me if I fall? Of course the sea will (duh!). There’s that nagging question…what if it was more fun falling? Getting thrown out of the banana boat felt great the last time…and it was a relief to let go…

A thought after all the hype: I felt sore and couldn’t do anything much. It came to me that maybe letting go was the best. First off, I wouldn’t feel sore had I chose to let go and fall. Second, there wouldn’t be that what-if lingering on my mind. Was the pain of holding on worth it? I say it was! I lived to tell the tale…and that’s a feat for me. I learned yet another lesson – holding on can keep you alive and get you another stab at life. And it is true, holding on hurts like hell…but it’s worth all the pain when you do it for love…

What-ifs and Letting Go

I flew out of Boracay Island a couple of weeks back, before the summer officially kicked in. I couldn’t shake off that nagging thought! What if I didn’t close out? What if I let you in? What if we’re two worlds colliding to finally make one? There’s a whole lot of what-ifs and maybe some sort of regret…only because I chose to hold…hold on to my fear of getting hurt, to my insecurities and all the excess baggage I carry around when I travel. I have never really packed light, didn’t I?

After Boracay, I have finally decided to let go of all the excess baggage I carry around when I travel. It would be a great challenge, but I have to start at something…It just hurts too much if I hold on…I need to set myself free…I need to let go and believe in myself, for once…for love…forever…

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Boracay: almost is never enough…

Boracay

“There is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shore line, no matter how many times it is sent away.”

And like the ocean, I refuse to stop hoping that one day you will come and kiss me…kiss me like the first time you hit this broken soul.

For the longest time I have built walls around my heart because I couldn’t bear the pain of getting left behind, of being broken, of getting lost. Then you came and bumped on my walls one night in a crowded bar in Boracay called Epic…

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Drink with our left hand only! or you get to bottoms up and do push ups!

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Do the Limbo rock ala Boracay Pubcrawl!

I was a mess in the middle of the pumped up floor with broken bottles of beer and shot glasses and a crowd of limbo-rockers oblivious  of what was to come. Someone grabbed my shirt! I was pulled on the side. Surprised by the movement, I stared at your eyes…they were lovely. I couldn’t look at anywhere else, your twinkling eyes seemed to have calmed everything around me into a blur of lights and sound and nauseating movements…then I noticed your smile while you question if it’s really my name…(I wasn’t really comfortable wearing my real name on my bright yellow “Boracay Pubcrawl” shirt so I used some letters that sounded exactly the same as the real one)…We had a chat then I remembered my walls..my towers. I gracefully closed out and smiled. See you around…you were gone or I was too closed out that I did not notice that we drifted apart in a slow dance…I don’t know, really.

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These babies need some warming up!

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So they fired ’em up!

We danced the night away one bar after another…one shooter at a time until we felt like we had enough.  I layed on my bed (wishing it was sand)…I wondered if we would ever see each other again. The thought has invaded the head until it hurts…just like the heart that’s been broken…bleeding eternally it seemed until you came…sadly, this heart isn’t as easy as the rest so you left without a trace, not even your name.


I’d like to say we gave it a try; I’d like to blame it all on life

Maybe we just weren’t right…

Almost, Almost is never enough…

So close to being in-love; 

We almost knew what love was

But almost is never enough…

Almost is never enough as performed by Ariana Grande/Nathan Sykes


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Contemplative mood…Boracay Sunset
Shot: Mac Rivera

We gave it a try. I guess we can call what we did a “try“. We were two worlds apart for one. Or…maybe I was just too broken for you to mend. I don’t know. All I know is that we had our moment…one night when the dance floor was nothing but a blur and the booze was our bullets to call the shots.  Sadly, a few shooters and a glass of rum weren’t enough to drown the fear…to break down the walls…or maybe we just weren’t right to begin with…

Almost…yes, our almost was never enough…

 

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Photos/Credits:
Boracay Pubcrawl – Thanks for the love-leh shots
#bestnightever #turnstrangersintofriends #boracaypubcrawl